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Submitted by Sacha Lien on December 15th, 2008

After I graduated from College my father announced that he was planning a Graduation party for me. I was excited and appreciative until it became clear that this was really an excuse for him to show me off to his friends rather than a party for me and my buddies from high school. I wanted to invite more of my friends. He said there would be too many people. After some heated discussions we compromised and I got to invite some of my friends but nowhere near the number I would have liked.

Cut to the night of the party and a friend of my father’s, who I had never met before, shows up with a gift for me. I see this look of horror on her face as she’s introduced to me. We talk briefly but she seemed more uncomfortable as the conversation wore on, so I quickly ended the interaction and left.

Later, when I unwrap presents I discover that this friend, whom I had never met, thought I was a daughter and not a son graduating from College (the name Sacha doesn’t help) and her present was a gift of MAKEUP.

My father was mortified (as I’m sure she was) and was apologetic for days.

When in doubt, get a gift card!!!!

Submitted by Uncrate on December 15th, 2008

You should listen to Ralphie Parker — he knows a thing or two about what makes a good gift. Taken directly from his “What I Want for Christmas” school theme: “What I want for Christmas is a Red Ryder BB gun with a compass in the stock and this thing which tells time. I think that everybody should have a Red Ryder BB gun. They’re very good for Christmas. I don’t think that a football’s a very good Christmas present.” Rarely had the words poured from his penny pencil with such feverish fluidity. And while it’s true, that the football won’t shoot your eye out, it definitely also won’t lead to imaginative gun battles with the local Black Bart.

Submitted by Alison Storm on December 18th, 2008

I have a small circle of high school friends. Even though we live in five different states we work hard to keep in touch. We exchange phone calls and e-mails and birthday cards. We’ve forked over big bucks for bridesmaid dresses for each other’s weddings. We’ve spent large chunks of our paychecks on plane tickets to Vegas for our annual gathering. And every year we buy each other Christmas presents, carefully wrap them up, and ship them off as another way to show our friendship.

But this year one of girls in this intimate circle (we’ll call her Friend B) decided that with the state of the economy our decade-old tradition of exchanging Christmas gifts should be halted. Friend B’s e-mail read,

‘the main thing that I wanted to bring up is the gift exchange thing. I know that every year I feel very strapped financially and I also don’t have as much time to shop for great gifts as I would like… so I was thinking that maybe we should not exchange gifts this year due to all of the economic strain and all of us having not as much free time as we would like. What do you think about this idea? If you still really want to do the gift thing let me know, but I will just have to do small items.’ READ THE REST…

Submitted by Trend Hunter on December 18th, 2008

The idea behind a Secret Santa gift exchange is great: Set a price limit, drop names from a hat and gift away. A completely anonymous Secret Santa gift exchange is somewhat more perilous, however, especially when college kids are thrown into the mix.

My freshman year dorm instituted a Secret Santa gift exchange that would remain completely anonymous. Our gifts were to be labeled and given to our RA, who would then disperse the gifts at our weekly meeting to open. There were some brief guidelines and a $10 limit. Since the exchange was limited to just our hall, there were only 20 of us. How bad could it be?

For my Secret Santa gift, I bought an AC/DC shirt. I received a fart machine. Yes, a fart machine. I considered myself lucky minutes later when one of the super-sheltered twins opened a miniature, um, adult toy.

Since then, the Secret Santa gifts I’ve received as a working professional have been relatively innocuous, but no less welcome in my home: a singing, dancing Big Mouth Billy Bass, a Tamagotchi (about 12 years too late) and a tennis racket bug zapper. Thankfully, all of these gifts–including the fart machine that kicked this tirade off–came with its receipt.

-Marissa Brassfield for Trend Hunter

image by Dan Zen

Submitted by NOTCOT on December 19th, 2008

Small children love repetition. If their toy beeps, giggles, sings,squeaks or gongs then you can be guaranteed they will make it do so as many times as possible. And if they can hit something and produce a loud noise? That is like kid nirvana.

Giving children a full drum set or a certain ticklish doll who shall remain nameless will no doubt make them light up with joy … and make their parents curse the day you were born. The same goes for encouraging someone else’s child’s budding musical talents by giving them a kazoo, mini-accordion or sing-along CD by [insert name of fictional musical teenagers or brightly colored puppet here].  Of course, sometimes we give these kinds of gifts on purpose. Whether it’s as a joke on a friend, revenge on a formerly obnoxious younger sibling or a passive-aggressive payback ~ there are endless ways to drive a parent crazy. We know, it’s wrong. But damn if it isn’t funny.

Submitted by DOTW on December 19th, 2008

The Wine and Liquor Accelerator claims to age a drink three years in 10 seconds and 20 years in three minutes. So if you’re too impatient to let your wine or spirits breathe before drinking.

http://www.drinkoftheweek.com/blog/a-gift-for-the-impatient-drinker/

Submitted by Trend Hunter on December 22nd, 2008

Of all the brutal presents I’ve received in my life, none have been so humbling as those from (now) ex-boyfriends. You’d think there would be a seminar that hapless significant others could attend to help guide them along the right path to gift enlightenment. The world might be a happier place, especially around the holidays.

Here are the best of the worst. Some of these gifts came from the same person within the same year!

1. Underwear, two sizes too small.

2. A bra, a letter too large.

3. A pack of cheap disposable razors with a note, “So you don’t use mine.”

4. A three-pack of athletic socks (Don’t get me wrong, I love new socks,
just not from my boyfriend)

5. Barbie-blue eyeshadow.

6. A six-pack of lint rollers (Again, super useful but not particularly
romantic).

7. A 30-pack of Natural Light beer (at a total retail cost of about $13).

-Marissa Brassfield for Trend Hunter

Submitted by Uncrate on December 22nd, 2008

Have you ever gifted your way into oblivion? That is, are you so uninterested in what you’re buying for folks that you somehow have ended up giving your sister a bath robe three out of the last four years? Yeah, there’s nothing worse than giving someone the same thing you gave them last year. So unless you’re giving out vintage convertibles every year, you need start paying attention to what you’re buying — because the recipient surely is.